Funny Friends

Sometimes my sense of humor is under-appreciated. Apparently, I always think I'm funny. Others do not. Because of this, I am especially sensitive to other people's feelings when it comes to their senses of humor. So I would like to recognize a few of my friends who have shared some pretty funny statements as of late.

After Challenge...
Christie: This really nice mentally handicapped guy at challenge, you know, the one that gave me like 20 hugs tonight?
Laura: Just because you're wearing scrubs doesn't mean you can hug every mentally handicapped guy, Christie.

About 10 minutes later...
Laura: I think I met my husband at Challenge! I forgot to tell you. We kept running into each other. Literally. I think it's meant to be, because every time I turned around we were touching.
Paul: Which guy was it?
Laura: Well, I mean he was wearing a white something on top.
Paul: What, like a smock?
Christie: Or scrubs?
Me: Oh, Laura. He was wearing scrubs. He just thought it was okay to hug every mentally handicapped person he saw.

At the library one day after class...
Laura: Matt! We forgot to tell you. We thought that it would be cheaper to consolidate, so all of us girls are moving into your house. My mom wouldn't really approve though, so each of us would have to marry one of you. We would save so much money on rent and living expenses though!
Matt: Sounds like a plan. In fact, this would make us better friends... and better people.

Playing Say Anything...
Chris (reading the game question): "What is the weirdest thing that could happen right now?"
Kristin Weatherford: The Rapture.
::Everybody laughs::
Kristin Weatherford: Kari would be left sitting here by herself wondering where all of us went!

Paul wanting to play a 4-player game...
Laura: I'll play.
Paul: Alex, Christie, you're playing.
Me: I don't want to.
Christie: I'm tired.
Paul: Okay, so you're both playing.
Me: I said I didn't want to. And Christie said she's tired. This is a perfect opportunity to teach you an important life lesson. "I'm tired" actually means "No." This will be important to you later in your marriage.

Christie needing me to bring something to church, asking via text message...
Christie: Would you mind bringing my black boat to church?
Me: It's kind of bulky to drag behind the car, and I don't think there's room for it in the parking lot.
Christie (clearly not realizing her mistake yet): Haha, well just put it in the car and bring it.
Me: I don't even know where your boat is.
Christie: Oh, funny. My COAT is in the closet.

Paul and Christie trying to make plans via text message the next day...
::Christie sends a cryptic text message::
Paul: That didn't make much sense, but I'll be here ready at 7. And I'll bring your black boat.

8:52 Sunday morning...
Laura: Alex! We have to go to church! (as if I didn't know it started in 8 minutes)
Me: Oh, is it Sunday already? Weird.
Laura: Haha, but it's like 8:55.
Me: And the church is 3 blocks away! How are we ever going to make it?
Kristin: Laura, I think Alex is funnier than you.

8:58 Sunday morning, Laura and I in the car on the way to church, having a different conversation entirely...
Laura: I think Christian would draw the line if that happened.
Me: I don't know that I've ever witnessed Christian drawing a line.
Laura: Well, that one time... we played pictionary telephone... and he drew a line..
Me: I'm telling Kristin you said that.
Laura: No, don't! It was supposed to be funny. That's funny! Don't tell her, please!

Paul and I sitting in the living room having a conversation...
Paul: Do you know what my coin jar is for?
Me: No.
Paul: It's for an engagement ring. My friend bought an engagement ring this weekend. You know what I did?
Me: No.
Paul: I started a dollar jar.

Movies

I'm really tired of watching movies. All the time. We watch movies. It's not fun. I'm pretty picky about movies. I usually fall asleep. That's not true: I always fall asleep. Nobody talks. Everybody's silent. Staring at the TV. Some movies are worth it. Most aren't. Sometimes I'm in the mood. Even then I'd obviously rather sleep. Movies are about as exciting as this paragraph was to read.
Here are a few reasons why I am not any longer going to choose to watch movies with large groups of people at night:

• I can use my time much more wisely. I love cultivating friendships. I love talking, and I love listening. These things are eliminated as options when a movie is turned on. It gets dark and silent.
• It wastes time actually deciding on a movie. If watching a movie was an event, and there was a particular movie many people had been talking about watching, I could and would make an exception. However, people can't agree quickly enough to make it worth the time it takes to choose a movie.
• If my life is so boring that I have to watch the TV for two or so hours about somebody else's made up life, then I should be attempting to make life more exciting than just being complacent. After all, complacency is sinful, right?
• Most movies don't glorify God. Sometimes a psychological thriller is fun to watch because it's intellectually stimulating. But usually they're scary or gory. I don't like to wonder what could happen if that murderer had broken into my house. Also, movies are generally filled with cursing, drinking, smoking, nudity, sex, divorce, adultery and other socially acceptable sins of sloth, greed and lust.
• Girls hearts are fragile enough without chick flicks to add to the list. I was perfectly content the other day until I turned "The Notebook" on. This used to be my favorite movie, but now Satan uses it to drag me back into woeful sorrows of my singlehood. I appreciate my life, so why would I want to watch something that is fake and untrue that is going to drag me backwards away from Christ?
• Playing games is apparently underrated now. It's a social event that can include any number of people and can last for a determined and finite amount of time. We can play for 30 minutes with 4 people, 3 hours with 12 people, 45 minutes with 10 people.. so many combinations! We could play Mao, Spades, Rook, Settlers, Ride that Train, Onze, 123, Speed, Egyptian Rat Screw, Presidents.. it makes me excited to think about it.

In case you didn't get it, you shouldn't ask me to watch a movie any time soon. You shouldn't ask me to go to a movie. You shouldn't suggest we watch one, you shouldn't try to convince me. It's not going to work.